A news station was interviewing a man who lived near a dangerous intersection. It is known for an inordinate number of car crashes.
HE JUST KIND OF STEPS BACK
“oh see there you go son”
BALLS OF NONCHALANT STEEL
“See, now this is the kinda shit I’m talking about…”
it’s kind of ridiculous that we have to work our asses off for 13 years in school just to work our asses off for another 2-8+ years in college just to work our asses off in a job that we probably don’t even like, when we were born on this earth without a choice and i for one certainly didn’t sign up for that
this is seriously all i fucking think about
So I just went to the shopping centre and the cashier looked at me and there was GENUINE FEAR IN HER EYES and I didn’t know why and she just looked at the things on the counter and stared at me until I realised that I BOUGHT THE DEXTER DVD BOX, A KNIFE AND CLEANING DETERGENT. I swear I’m not a serial killer.
yes uhm can we not laugh about my serial killer post
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
my life became 600% better when i started acting like a self obsessed piece of shit like 10/10 would recommend
even if u don’t actually genuinely love yourself its fuckin fun to act like you think you’re the human embodiment of perfection go on try it life’s too short to not fall in love with yourself
Tony Stark is that you
one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book